Gratitude
by VermilionGoddess
Summary: Ichigo finds himself losing his hold over himself at an inconvenient time and in his panic wonders what there is left to do. He doesn't anticipate being saved by unlikely means but when he thinks about it later he finds that he is glad it was Urahara.
1. Gratitude

Gratitude

He could feel it, the madness lurking in the corners of his mind waiting for the moment when they could snatch away his control. It was like being drawn down into a pit of quicksand, a slow process that left the victim panicked as the inevitable downfall was agonized upon. That sand was dark and heavy, it choked him even before it covered him because he could feel it so well, too well. Ichigo was much too aware of every little thing because the teen was just waiting for the moment, that last moment he would have in control before he had to claw his way back.

The concerned looks of his friends were unnoticed by his preoccupation with his current state. Ichigo didn't notice Chad's silent assessment and sqeamish countenance. Nor did he see Uryuu's eyes wrinkle at the sides when he fixed the red head with worried glances. He was blind to Orhime's fretting and didn't detect the aura of general unease at his troubled state. Even Rukia's narrowed eyes and slapping didn't draw him away from his current state of mind. All that the substitute shinigami was aware of were his own shaky standings in his own body.

It wasn't until lunch that he was pushed the last little way from his control. His friends had finally decided to confront him about his behavior and it had escalated to harsh words, particularly from Uryuu and Rukia. The argument had taken away that previous tight knit focus and now he was slipping, trying desperately to take a hold but failed.

As darkness came to the corner of his eyes, hands tightly grasping his head he heard the shouts of concern, pity and fear. Heart beating a mile a minute Ichigo was fearful himself, afraid that they would see the monster that he kept caged and used to his convenience in battle. Most of all he was afraid that the beast within him was going to go through with some of those taunts, the ones that left him in a cold sweat in the middle of the night.

"Ichigo!"

"Kurosaki!"

"A-are you alright? Do you need..." The words faded away just like he was, still fighting but the fear and darkness was swallowing him up. That mad chuckling filled his head, making him feel weak stomached.

The sudden weight behind his back and hand on his side startled him, stiffening and holding his head all the tighter Ichigo waited for something he didn't even know. Instead of pain or fear he found a rough, strong chin resting against his shoulder before a low humming sounded by his ear. The hand wasn't on his side any longer and and arm slid around his waist pulling him back against a warm, secure weight.

Against his will his eyes began to drift closed the tenseness in his frame falling away as did his consciousness but the fear that had dug claws so firmly into his heart before was drawing away as well. Fingers slid out of short, unruly hair hanging at his sides. The song sounding by his ear continued and in the back of his mind he heard a much softer, sweeter accompaniment.

"Mom..." The word was whispered in the last moment the teen's mind remained in the living world before everything faded to black and he trusted himself to that song.

The red head's body went completely lax and the group on the roof looked wide eyed, frozen where they stood just observing in shocked silence. The humming was loud enough that they could hear it as well in the stillness around them. Mutely they watched the blond shopkeeper raise up to his feet scooping up the lanky limbed Ichigo in his arms as well.

Rukia opened her mouth to ask but was caught by the soft, sad way that Urahara was looking at Ichigo. It looked like guilt was abound in the man's eyes and his smile was softly sincere without a trace of the usual amusement that hung about the lazy, perverted ex-captain. "W-what?"

"He'll be fine. I'll take care of him." Kisuke said in a gentle tone but it was firm enough to state that anyone who attempted to stop him would find themselves hurting. "You should all continue your day and I'll inform you once you can see him again. Ichigo just needs a little assistance."

The dark haired shinigami didn't look convinced. "What's wrong with him?" It was a demand, her eyes narrowed with determination.

Kisuke was shifting the weight in his arms to make sure the red head was properly supported before he would go, plus he had anticipated questions. "It is not may place to say anything on the matter, ask Ichigo once he returns to you." Turning to go he was halted once more by the persistent group's concern and in a way he was pleased they were so dedicated to one another.

"U-Urahara-san, thank you." It was Orihime that time. She had withheld asking about how he had known what to do or even if Ichigo would be alright.

The shopkeeper looked back at them and smiled. "Relax, all of you. I would die before I would let anything truly take Ichigo from us." When he noted the rigid postures dropping Kisuke said it was alright to go now. They were trusting him because they knew he was a man of his word when he spoke so seriously.

Hopping up and off from the high school the man glanced down at the teen in his arms and smiled. "Ichigo don't worry I will always be there to catch you. I promised Masaki-san I would protect her family with my life and I am a man of my word." Words spoken firmly but in a kind tone it just made the blond smile when he noted some of the creases in Ichigo's brow melted away. "Rest Ichigo, when you wake up you will have something terribly difficult ahead of you."

The last bit of the way to the shop was made in silence. Stepping in he ignored the glance from Jinta that was perturbed and Ururu's wide eyes, going to his room without a word. The red head was laid in his bed and tucked in. Kisuke brushed a hand over Ichigo's hair lightly willing the teen to take the rest while he felt safe enough, taking up a seat by his bed and grabbing something to read he sighed. Urahara knew very well that this would only get worse but there were small things he could do for Ichigo, like this, but he could not protect him from it. The teen would have to subdue this demon himself, because there was no slaying it.

There was one other thing he could do though he hated to admit it he was hesitant to do so. "No helping it..." He'd have to get into contact with Hirako because if anyone could help Ichigo it was them.

Running a hand over his jaw he let his eyes close, book resting in his lap because he'd get no reading done, leaning back against the wall. Staying reclined against the smooth surface of the wall he began to hum again to continue to be of some help to the boy he had vowed to protect.

Hours later when Ichigo Kurosaki opened his eyes to see a strange room he was oddly comforted to see the slumped form of the lazy, unshaven shopkeeper close by. Urahara always was there when he needed him to be and it was something the red head was grateful for, more than words could say.


	2. Forgiveness

Forgiveness

"You knew from the beginning?"

The question cut deeper than it was intended to, hitting a mark that was kept concealed from others at all costs. Grey eyes looked tiredly up at the young, young man with such wild hair and fiery personality. The hurt he saw there made the ache he felt all the worse. Shoulders slumping in a sense of defeat that had come once roughly a century ago he nodded in admittance.

"Yes. I knew." It was firm in certainty but also soft as if ashamed.

"Why didn't you...say something?" Ichigo's hands tightened into fists at his sides, indignant to have been left out on something in his own life. Clearly furious that the man he'd trusted like a teacher to him had found it fit to leave him clueless to let that damn thing creep up on him. "Do you know how hard it is to fight him off?" Instead of the characteristic shout it was a fierce whisper that did not hide any of the anger behind it.

"I knew but I didn't know how to tell you." It was the truth but the narrowed eyed and the slam of a hand against the table between them clearly said it was not what the teen would accept in way of explanation.

"Don't bullshit me!" If the volume had bothered the other residents of the shop they did not show it. They knew that this was a matter they were not to be involved with, a private situation between the two.

Closing his eyes Urahara sighed and took the hat from his head resting it on the table, musing for a better way to explain. "How do you tell someone that you have damned them? Even I do not know how to tell someone that I have done them a great wrong. I suppose I was selfish to want to find a way to explain and still retain some hint of faith in you." It was selfish but Kisuke at least was ashamed of himself for it. The lines that lingered by the corners of his eyes said as much, the dark bags under his eyes told of lost hours of rest, from guilt possibly.

The fury did not leave but some of the heat faded away at the obvious signs of regret. It was difficult to remain angry with someone who looked so pitiful. "Bastard..."

Urahara did not object to the term, did not look indignant either. Instead his head bowed in a silent acceptance. What he did not anticipate was the fist brought down against the table again with an accompanying growl from the fiery teen. "Stop looking so fucking stupid old man! You're supposed to be defending yourself and saying you were doing some greater good shit not sitting there and letting me yell at you!" Ichigo looked like he wanted to lunge across the table and strangle the older man.

Leaning back the teen snorted and shook his head looking the part of a disappointed father, much too well for someone still short of even twenty years of life. "Quit with the friggin' pity too. I'm the one you screwed over."

Shocked to silence Kisuke merely stared at the boy for a long moment of silence.

"What's with that look? Stop it already!"

Rather than press the boy's temper further he raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. Shaking his head as he lowered them again Kisuke thought over what he was going to actually say. "You are a very confusing person Kurosaki-kun."

The pillow that hit the shop keeper in the face had also not been anticipated, but in his defense it had been a very odd occasion and he felt little solidity in his standings.

"Think it's safe to be calling me Ichigo. Cut the formality crap already. Just...explain."

Somehow the violate and ever stubborn substitute shinigami made things significantly easier. Urahara didn't know if that was a gift or a curse just yet, he was leaning toward the former however. Grey eyes closed and the blond head nodded. "Ichigo what you did had certain risk to it. You wouldn't have listened to me if I told you, you are rash and narrow minded when you are focused on a single goal. I did the one thing I could to return your shinigami abilities to you and it's side effects were not anticipated. I am deeply sorry for the one that you have been afflicted with but I will not lie I prefer it to the option of having to end your life. I am selfish enough to want you alive."

"Tch." A hand lifted wiped at a nose before the young face turned away to the side. "Was that so hard?"

"More so than you think."

"Whatever old man." When Ichigo turned to look at Urahara again he frowned his usual frown but the earlier anger had faded almost fully even if he was sitting stiffly. "I forgive you. You're right I wouldn't of listened and you did what I wanted you to anyhow. So we're both to blame."

Had never occurred to the older man to think of it that way before. "Thank you." He would merely choose to be grateful to be blessed with forgiveness.

Ichigo snorted and shook his head. "So...what do I do?"

This was a much easier question to answer. Taking out his fan Kisuke tapped it against the table with his customary grin. "Keep fighting of course." A simple answer but one that was more significant than it may entail with just being vocalized. "You never were one to give in so easily. What did I teach you about resolve isn't to be forgotten, Ichigo."

The redhead rolled his eyes. "Yeah something a little more practical and not philosophical you whack job."

The moment a levity was lost and Urahara nodded. "I know a certain group of people who suffered a similar transformation. They can help you in means I cannot begin to fathom Ichigo. They will find you, please accept their assistance."

There was a silence between them before at long last the teen broke it. "Alright."


	3. Aggression

Aggression

He didn't know what had prompted him to go. Perhaps it was the gnawing feeling in his stomach like guilt, or the unease he felt about the situation over all. Either way Kisuke found himself passing through Hachi's barrier with the same ease he had walking through the air about him smelling of machine oil. This was their sanctuary in all it's humble, shack-like glory and he was familiar with it. Not that he had been here in some time for a few reasons.

Yet he was still greeted with nods, and in Mashiro's case a strange sort of half hug and skip before she was off to bother Kensei once more, as was her habit. With his destination in mind he was already working his way down to the underground space that he had crafted for them. It was the least he could do. Hachi could maintain it on his own easily so his presence for repairs was not really required.

Descending the stairs it was becoming more difficult to ignore the conflicting feelings this place brought to him, or its inhabitants. Fatigue and a sense of alertness, anxiety and mild relief. The trip to get here was over and no one knew where he'd gone. Somehow he still felt he had to keep silent about the details, then again given his state of exile and the resentment still had for them it was perhaps his own personal choice to skip over those wounds than necessity.

When he caught sight of the red head he was off to the side trying to catch his breath. The familiar, unrestrained reiatsu that drifted over his skin made hairs rise. It was different not that was a sign of progress, and a mark of fear to the older man because he knew what it mean. It was different when it came to Ichigo, because unlike Shinji he feared what that particular demon he put there would whisper and taunt. This one he was to blame for and his regret for that would not dwindle just as the hollows presence would not someday fade. Over all though Ichigo seemed fine, sweaty and breathless but unharmed. Something uncoiled at the sight. Hiyori wasn't even lingering around to smack the boy and call him lazy or drag him right back into the fray to keep working. He mused that he ought to likely thank the former captain of the fifth for that, since Shinji was one of the few that would keep the tiny storm that was Hiyori at bay.

Approaching he must have surprised the boy because those brown eyes looked up at him slightly wide. The tenseness faded and Ichigo was hauling himself to his feet, hands bracing on his thighs to push himself up. Kisuke kept a few feet between them and waited for his student, or former student now, to greet him. That was what he was expecting.

Instead gray eyes watched the teen come far closer than he normally dared when there was the space to spare, so much so he could scent the sweat and dirt on tan skin. It was then the hair on the back of his neck stood at attention, somehow that was very clear to him. It was only a second later that the lanky, solid body of the teen was brushing against his side, almost like a cat greeting someone familiar. Ichigo's face was tilted down making it hard to see his face through the mass of bright hair but he watch closely anyhow, eyes slightly wide at the odd behavior.

It was not until he felt Zangetsu against his back that he realized he had failed to bring Benihime with him in his earlier anxiousness. Kisuke regretted not thinking ahead, but also noted it was not the bite of metal he felt in his back but the blunt back to the long blade. It wasn't intended to harm but it was a gentle urging, a trapping really to say he was going no where. If that hadn't been enough the arm around his waist and the hand coasting up along his side in a far too casual manner was enough.

No longer surprised, gray eyes were narrowed in suspicion looking at the boy, reaching up without fear in him to tilt the face to look at him. Instead of the customary scowl in place there was an almost maniacal grin, baring teeth in a less than human way. No longer brown eyes trailing over his shadowed face. The now gold eyes regarded him with a sense of amusement and an odd hint of pleasure. No question in his mind that this was Ichigo's inner hollow.

"Yo."

The greeting surprised him, the tone warped but still reminiscent of the teen as was this thing in all physical sense, even if the way he moved was different.

"Not nice to glare at me so much, haven't done anything to you have I?"

While that was true he hardly found it agreeable. Kisuke was surprised to find he was actually angry about this being taking control of Ichigo's body. He'd become far more fond of the teen than he'd ever wanted to permit himself to be, but it was not the time to muse on that. Particularly with the strange way this thing was familiarizing itself with him.

A tan cheek pressed against his stubbled one, dragging against it much like he had against his side. Again it brought a feline marking its property to mind. That hand on his side was now digging nails into him through only the layer of green her wore, arm fully inside his black haori. It was unsettling but when he moved to remove it, the hollow growled at him though not entirely aggressive.

"Shouldn't be so unfriendly to the things you create. Grateful for that by the way." Those gold eyes showing mirth when the man shuddered at the reminder of who was to blame. "First time we met properly."

"I hardly call this properly." Yet he didn't use force to pry it off, feeling an odd and guilty sort of affection for this creature if only for the fact it shared Ichigo's body. Something about his posture or expression must have given something away because the arm around him tightened and Zangetsu shifted against his back to knock his hat away, exposing his face.

"Shouldn't wear that retarded thing. Stop being pissy at me because I'm out here and King's stuck inside his own head for a change. Not like it hurts him." Shifting the hollow pressed his borrowed body against the warmth of the other man, amused at how it made the other twitch and eye him. "He can put up with it for long as it takes him to drag his ass back out here."

Zangetsu was shifted easily again, now the sharp tip moving up along Kisuke's pale throat forcing him to tilt his head back.

"This is not submission, do not make that mistake." The words were sharp but pale hands still did not take action.

Chuckling low and dark the hollow nodded letting Zangetsu slide further up to rest more of the sharp blade against the man's throat, watching the muscles work to swallow in that position. There was something thrilling about making the normally powerful man force himself to his will, his creator essentially having to relent himself to his curiosity for the moment. The look in his eyes, gray like steel in every way, pleased him. There was the urge to see the man awash in his hearts blood but he resisted, something in him protesting violently to the idea, if only that it would kill Urahara. Bothered him a bit that his protests were not solely based on the King screaming in his head to let him go.

Raising enough and eying the veins in the pale throat he watched his heart beat, baring those white teeth in a grin to see how quick it was. "Nervous there, Kisuke?"

His given name spoken like that surprised him and he even frowned. "It's adrenaline, I'm not frightened of you."

"Ah I know." Was no doubt in Ichigo's face, though his hollow's expression, to show he doubted the words or was even bothered by them. "Why should you be? Not like I'm really going to hurt you. I'm not an ungrateful bastard. Course you wouldn't go and hurt me either because it's his body, right?" Gold eyes peering back up that throat to those gray eyes that almost looked silver from his current angle.

"That is right.." The shop keeper admitted reluctantly.

Kisuke was surprised at how relaxed he really was, even if he could feel his hands tingle in the urge to move from the adrenaline in his system. Or he was relaxed until he felt teeth against his neck. Gray eyes widening greatly, forced to tilt his head back further to accommodate the head nudging at his jaw. Those teeth bit down and he stiffened, eyes still wide. Holding himself still until he felt them release his neck, no doubt having left an impression again his pale skin. A flicker of anger passed over his reiatsu to realize what this was.

"Just don't think you can fuck with me, just because you can." Lifting his head the hollow looked back at the man smirking in triumph. "Doesn't look bad."

Not moving his head just yet Kisuke was certain he was glaring severely enough that Byakuya Kuchiki would be impressed, making a low impatient sound in his throat. It was a mark, a reminder. "You wouldn't think as much."

The thing had the gall to grin and chuckle at him like a child pleased with the mischief it had caused. Having had enough of this game Urahara's hand was pushing away Zangetsu without even giving the other a moment to blink before his hand was around the tan throat, pulse fluttering erratically under his palm. That chuckling had stopped and gold eyes looked up and the hand tightened, nails biting into flesh in a mimicry of the other's more primal action to actually bite him. While it was silent between them, that smirk didn't leave.

"Pissed huh?" The words were a bit soft, breathless or breathy one might say.

"You have no claim over myself or over Ichigo." His words firm.

The hollow didn't argue that and let the over-sized blade fall from his grasp, instead slipping his other arm up around the slightly larger frame of the man holding the King's throat with an ease that indicated he could crush it if the thought fancied him. But at the same time he could feel the fingers brush over skin in an almost apologetic sense.

"Awful protective of him aren't you?"

Kisuke didn't reply to that, keeping his grip firm and eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Or are you possessive?"

Again he didn't raise to the bait and reply, though he did note the black was giving way to white and the gold bleeding away from henna, that grin to him held until the end though. The unspoken words there, hanging in the air brushing over the dampness of the bite on Urahara's throat. And he knew just what it meant and how true it was. This wasn't something he could save Ichigo from, wasn't a wound he could heal. He was powerless.

It wasn't until he felt the throat in his hand swallow several time he came back to himself to realize brown eyes were looking at him in an almost frightened manner. Ichigo was concerned, maybe even scared.

Releasing him the man wasn't sure why but his thumb brushed over the skin in a silent apology, not surprised when the teen took a large step back when he was able.

"D-did I hurt you?" Ichigo had to admit it was disconcerting at the least to have come back into control of his body to see Urahara looking at him like he wanted to kill him. The hand around his throat was just the added delight his hollow decided to throw his way. Bastard had been feeling generous though since he'd been nearly hugging the man, and feeling disturbingly aware of just how warm Urahara was.

"I'm fine. Are you alright, Ichigo?"

Wasn't that often the other used his given name but he nodded even if he wasn't feeling so hot at the moment. Looking around himself he noted Zangetsu lying in the dirt behind Urahara, no blood along the length of it which made him heave a sigh of relief. Good he hadn't attacked. Well his hollow hadn't but it was his body so he always did feel responsible. It wasn't until he was looking over the man himself despite his claims to be fine that he saw it. How he'd missed it when he was still close to Urahara was a mystery to him, maybe he'd just been too embarrassed, but he saw it now. A clear outline of teeth, even what looked like blood beading in some of the impressions against the shop keeper's throat, stood out easily for his pale skin and made his stomach twist.

"Did I...bite you?"

There was hesitation in an answer. "You did not."

Ichigo may have imagined it but when he swallowed again he could have sworn he tasted copper. It made him lick his teeth, even if he didn't want to.

"I'm alright Kurosaki-kun, do not worry about me. Takes more than that to put me down." Kisuke was turning away to recover his hat where it had dropped, oddly only then making the teen realize he hadn't been wearing it. Settling it back on his head, once more shadowing his eyes, the shop keeper felt more secure. "Keep working alright? It takes time and persistence." Even lifting up the weight of Zangetsu to offer it to the boy.

Not knowing what else to do he took it, noticing that Zangetsu seemed to hum when passed back to his palm. "Yeah, got it."

After that he was watching Urahara go, walking easily and looking a bit more graceful than he was accustomed to seeing, as if mindful of each step he was taking. All he knew for certain as the blond ascended those steps was that something had happened and it bred a strange awkwardness between them. One he was concerned about.


	4. Suspicion

Suspicion

Nothing bothered Shinji Hirako more than a mystery involving those close to him, not that he enjoyed prying any more. Truth be told he was just fine with letting people screw up and fixing it themselves, but when something was going on and they were no doubt part of the equation then it wasn't something he couldn't let be. He'd learned better than to ignore what was going on around him when they could be the ones paying for it in the end. It was messed up to let yourself get tossed over the fire more than once and never learn, thankfully Shinji wasn't a dumbass like that.

So when the former captain of the twelfth division emerged from the underground space where they'd decided to let him have a little chit-chat with Ichigo he knew something was up. It had been many a year since Shinji had seen Urahara look like he did at the moment. Hands slack at his sides, eyes hard as steel and looking caught between being honest for a change and slitting someone's throat with his usual cheerful mask. All in all it was a bad sign, but as he did already know there was some kind of magnet in that man for mayhem and mischief. Another thing time had taught him. Kisuke was not someone you wanted to mess with because you never knew what was going on with him, be it what was up his sleeves or what was going on in that head of his, under that awful looking hat. So, rightfully so, he was suspicious whenever the other blond man was involved.

Ever since he'd seen Kisuke again after a few years of silence between them and the other had sat opposite him speaking as close to humble as the man could get, yet eyes never lowering with his request, Hirako had known this was all different. Ichigo Kurosaki was important to Kisuke in a way that he'd never predicted a human could get. His belief of this was firm though when he had seen the honest guilt and fear in the younger shinigami's face. Hell any old honesty would have made him think twice because the former fifth captain knew the reason for the ever present hat and fan. Shields, visors, to hide any trace of truth. They were effective making it difficult for even those who knew him to understand the fine line that was fact and fiction with the vulpine shop keeper was involved. With his own personal mask gone, that polite condescending smile, it had driven the point home.

Urahara was bound to Ichigo somehow.

"Now what did Berry do to you?"

The blond didn't foresee the deep bite on the other man's throat. Even he had to admit his eyes may have gotten a bit wide to see the few beads of blood starting to drip down over pale skin. It was a shock for a few reasons, not that he didn't think Ichigo was capable of it because they all were. It was more the fact the shop keeper had let him get close enough then do so that boggled the ex-shinigami's mind. Kisuke was certainly a capable person, even in his gigai. Hell anyone who could make Hiyori cuss and hold her monster feet after hitting someone had to be at least able.

"Holy hell Kisuke did you two just up and at it down there?" The obvious hint to his words got him a glare for his attempt to lighten the mood. "I was kiddin', yeesh."

Shinji wasn't the only one to notice, though his off color statement may have attracted attention previously focused elsewhere, to level more pairs of eyes to the wound. To Kisuke's credit though his hand did not raise to cover it but he did freeze on the spot.

"Didn't let the kid bite you, did you?" It was Love this time, actually bothering to look over the top of his sunglasses instead of through them.

Heaving a sigh Kisuke rolled his eyes. "Oh yes, I thought it would just be a fine day to show Kurosaki-kun the joys of human flesh. Unfortunately he misunderstood my intentions."

Hiyori snorted, "He woulda just kicked ya in the balls, if ya did that."

"You used to do that you know." Shinji muttered not surprised when he felt a small, but very forceful, fist hit his face hard enough to draw blood.

"Nobody asked ya."

Used to their antics, though far less than the rest, Kisuke just shook his head. "I know that well enough Hiyori-san." Somehow the conversation already left a sour taste in his mouth and his throat dry. Never before had he wished more in his life, even when staring down Central forty-six, that he could simply make himself disappear. Perhaps it would be to his advantage to force himself to find a way to do as much, it would certainly save him the trouble of these awkward moments again in life.

Mashiro was bouncing over and prodding the bite mark, tongue sticking out when blood smeared on her glove. "Berry-tan isn't dangerous is he?"

Kensei was dragging her away before she away before she could manage much more than a few pokes and her rather open inquiry. "If he's not saying anything, don't ask."

Something that he was rather hoping the rest of the group would listen to, yet did not.

"He's too young for that kind of thing Kisuke." Lisa was looking at him a mix of seriousness and an expression he knew for her as being amused.

"I do know this already and I have no intention of..pursuing him in that sense. He was a student and the son of a business as-"

"Don't you know better than to offer more information than you need to, Kisuke?" Shinji was putting in his two cents again a smear of blood below his nose still present, but nothing fresh coming from his injury.

"Usually I do. Appears I might have become a bit rusty, Hirako-san."

"Ya alright then ya useless piece a sh-" Hirako did cut the girl off with a smack to the top of her head, almost dead between her two pigtails.

Kisuke just nodded to the question of his health, that he was sure was sincere and heartfelt. "Hiyori-san, you're worried about me." Grinning and sliding that mask of cheer back into place quickly. "How sweet of you to be concerned about little ol' me." Waving a hand, though wishing that he did have his fan at the moment. "But you see I am just fine and should be on my way. You all have your new ward to look into and I have business I mustn't be neglecting. So long now."

Without waiting for reply Urahara was already on his way and off to leave. Gray eyes didn't even glance back, resolve to flee firm.

Shinji glanced back to the stairs the man had ascended to the grounds that still held the only one who could have inflicted the injury within. "See you around Kisuke...sure we will be." Even Hirako knew his words sounded very much like an accusation, so he ignored the look his fellow vizard directed at him. The uneasy he saw in Kisuke's body language screamed that there was something hanging unfinished, though the barely concealed tremor of fear and rage in the others normally reserved reiatsu was also a great hint. Not that the man suspected their friend of being so weak but everyone had moments. Many of the recent ones involved Ichigo, which was understandable to even him. There was something about the red head that demanded everything or nothing from you, even from someone as sly as the once proud captain of the twelfth. Being able to take Urahara down a few pegs took a lot. Aizen had done it years ago by outsmarting him and in a way it was good for Kisuke to realize there was someone around that could get the best of him, even if it had sort of fucked with Kisuke's head too. It had made him realize he was just as vulnerable. Ichigo was able for another reason that was little more than speculation at this point for Shinji. But he strongly suspected it had to do with affection, something he saw seldom in calculating gray eyes.

"Sure he'll be back Shinji?" Love asked looked a bit curious and doubtful, one eyebrow quirked up.

"I'm sure." Not a hint of uncertainty present in his tone, eyes drifting over to stairs where he knew Ichigo was likely guilting himself over what had occurred. "He cares about the brat."

Hiyori snorted a bit. "Ain't like him." A hint of bitterness in her words, arms crossing. Urahara had once cared about her but she didn't get that same feeling that he did, not that she'd ever admit she missed it. Or that she was jealous because she knew Shinji was right.

Lisa just shook her head at them. "He seemed worried."

"He was." Shinji muttered. "Nice to see him give a shit 'bout something because revenge for a change."

"We all want revenge though. Bit hypocritical to say any different Shinji." Rose said, chin resting in his palm, eyes half masted like he was bored or in need of a nap.

"Never said we didn't. Kisuke ain't us though." They all knew what he wasn't strictly saying. Urahara could be accepted back because he was not like them, he wasn't tainted. Kisuke was relatively innocent of all those claims against him, yet no where near as pure as driven snow. "He ain't gotta be as hateful as us."

"But he is." Rose again supplied, eyes closing fully this time. "He has always been though. Even when he was subdued years ago. Biding his time just like us. Means he'll be just as empty as us when it's all over."

"I know, I know." Wasn't what they wanted but it was no less true. A century hadn't dimmed the hate. Hadn't lessened the stinging bite of betrayal. Hadn't eased the loss of a life while a heart was still beating. Hadn't let them move on and turn their backs like had been done to them. They couldn't wash their hands of the events of one night.

"I hate that useless bastard." Hiyori said, not having the real resolve to say it with feeling.

"No ya don't." Shinji said evenly. "Just hate that he never stays."

He isn't surprised when the smallest of their group doesn't even hit him for that. It's a wound and she's not the only that feels it. He hates Urahara just a little himself because of what he reminds him of. Reminds him that they are indebted to him for saving them. What he really hates though is the guilt that always appears on his face, no matter how well Kisuke thinks he hides it, when he looks at them like this is all his fault. Too many times they've told him Aizen's the one to blame and now silence greets that reply. Once up on a time it was a promise to save them. Hirako wonders if the guilt isn't because he couldn't keep that promise. Somethings he feels himself being suspicious of deceit when he's feeling particularly hateful toward Kisuke. Wondering if maybe Aizen wasn't the only one pulling the wool over their eyes because if anyone else could he'd bet on it being their savior at the time. Sometimes he hates Kisuke so much because he wonders if things wouldn't be different if he didn't give up on them.

Shinji Hirako really hated that Urahara also made him think way too much whenever he showed his face.

"Ah I hate drama." And there's still Ichigo to prod for information Shinji thought with a weak, humorless laugh.


	5. Frustration

Frustration

Why the King had to be so fucking pathetic he had no clue. What did he think he could really hide in his denial? Tch, idiot couldn't hide anything from him and the old man. They were a part of him and they knew everything he did, felt everything he did. They could practically taste his anxiety, his fear and his odd thrill. All in all the hollow was oddly pleased at the state of disarray. What he did not like was the rain, the cold, biting rain. No matter where he was it always seemed to reach him, soaking through his clothes and biting as fiercely as any hollow would. It was making him really pissed off!

"The fuck is his problem?" The warped, faintly echoing voice growled in obvious irritation.

"He is confused, greatly so. You know that." Chimed in a deeper, calm tone of the zanpakutou that also shared this space with him.

Gold eyes glanced back at the dark man, standing on his annoying pole like some kind of weird guard. Made him like part bird in the hollow's opinion to be perching like that, waiting for the call of their master.

"No shit. I don't see how it's so damn confusing. King respects the guy and it's no surprise he does. Why we all do. He's not that friggin' dense is he!"

Zangetsu merely sighed at his agitated counter part and let his eyes close. "Kisuke Urahara is a very contradictory person. None of us have an excellent idea of him or his motives. There's hesitation in all of us about him."

"That's what's with you two. Can't just go with shit, always need to understand it. Least King isn't half as friggin' stuck as you are in that logic crap. Not everything works out so neatly and if I'm not a complete dipshit that guy's definitely not something that logic is gonna work with. He's a wild card, why I like him." Grinning in an almost maniacal way the hollow looked back around at their sideways world. Really this was all a lot of common sense to him so why the other two were so hung up just made him really, really frustrated. Then again it was starting to bother the normally calm and composed Zangetsu, which almost made it worth it. Ichigo was in disarray and he was tearing up the underground he was in right now as proof of that. Heck he was almost sorry for those poor idiots that agreed to house and teach the redhead for now, they had a real mess on their hands. Least they didn't get stuck with the rain and being stuck in this teenager's messed up, near insane soul scape. That was just their sad hand of fate showing there.

"Forgive me for not having the same "what will be is" approach as you. One of us has to be sane."

"You call me insane, I call it not driving myself insane like you two."

"One can't lose what's already missing."

"Har fucking har old man. I'm not the one in denial. King likes the bastard but he's still dancing around the idea way too much. He won't admit it but I will."

Zangetsu had actually bothered to open his eyes at that, looking at the white mirror image of his shinigami, faint frown appearing, confused to what he meant about all this. Not that it was entirely beyond him to see Ichigo's obvious admiration for the shopkeeper, he was one of the few the teen bothered to be respectful with no matter how mouthy he may get on occasion. It was always "Urahara-san" once the redhead actually could remember his name. The boy was always grateful and often would turn to no one else when in need of help if he thought the shopkeeper could provide him with what he needed. It was a form of trust, something they well knew Ichigo gave out sparingly and usually always anticipating some price for his loaned confidence.

"King trusts him, more than a lotta people. King respects him. Heck we do too. He's powerful, both know that."

That was true. Zangetsu knew very well the power he'd felt when he'd crossed with Benihime. It had given him a strange thrill at the time to be opposite something so beautiful but bloodthirsty. Yes Benhime and Urahara were well tied to one another. They had a sharpness to them, but also a soft, almost gentle sleepiness when unprovoked. Yet they were quick to change from one to another and more often than not were content to let others take up arms instead, but once provoked they were entirely ruthless. Ichigo couldn't hear the female zanpakutou but he had and it had been enough to make Zangetsu sympathize with his shinigami's fear. Her haunting cries had told of death and promised agonizing pain for those who could not meet her. Benihime bent to no one, and similarly he suspected neither did her wielder.

"But he's not all goody-goody, there's something nice and dark in him." The hollow was almost giddy. Oh he'd seen it in those gray eyes when they had turned to steel.

"Only you would delight in someone who created you silently threatening to find a way to destroy you."

"Tch, he wants to do you in too old man."

That startled him. "What?"

"You are King's ability to fight. Harsh as the crazy was to teach him how to fight, how to hear you he wants to protect him too. You out of the picture would make his job a hell of a lot easier."

Somehow the others logic was less than comforting. Really Zangetsu couldn't see Urahara doing such a thing to either of them, it would be reversing so much progress. Ichigo had begun to understand, to grasp at long last what he was. The man had given them power to stop the horrible rain and if he took that away, well it would make all three of them worse off in the long run. It made no sense to him. "He wouldn't."

"Difference between wanting something and doing it Zangetsu."

Wasn't often his name was used so he frowned once more. "What are you thinking?"

Baring his teeth in a feral smile the hollow tilting his head back, almost as if he had taken a liking to the rain that pelted them. "I want a piece of him." The hollow had had a taste of Urahara and he wanted more. He wanted to see more of what was behind that condescending smile, that smug assurance. Those eyes that had looked almost as blood thirsty as his own for a moment stayed with him.

"You will not get it."

"Tch don't doubt so fast there. You want one too, just the different kind. Benihime's your interest I'll bet." There was a teasing kind of accusation to the words and gold eyes narrowed at the form of the taller man.

Zangetsu hated that it was true and his frown deepened. Ignoring the low chuckling he decided it was pointless to deny it, they were all connected after all. Benihime was interesting to him. He crossed with other zanpakutou but that one had by far left the greatest impression on him thus far. She had not been cold and detached like Senbonzakura, she had been fierce and sneering almost like the hollow he was forced into contract with. She was sure and wailing in pain and hurt while screeching her battle cries. An utter contradiction, much like her wielder.

"Urahara's ours." Obviously referring to both Ichigo and himself the white skinned hollow smirked. "And we're gonna get him, even if I have to claw my way back into control to take him. And that stupid fucking King just denies what he wants. Maybe if I start to push the facts at him he'll finally stop being so stupid. I'm tired of the rain, just annoying now." Really the hollow was frustrated. Why did the King have to deny himself all the things he wanted? Why did he have to be at such odds with himself? It was simple. He wanted it he should go after it. In this case it was a crazy, perverted, bastard of a shopkeeper. Not that he could blame him because he wanted in on that.

"Ichigo won't like that."

"Like I care. I'm tired of being like this, 'bout time to give him a kick in the ass."

Perhaps Zangetsu couldn't argue with that. For all his rough edges the hollow at times did have the right idea, though not for the proper reasons. The hollow had no interest in making Ichigo happy short of making it easier on himself. All in all the hollow was likely almost all of Ichigo's selfishness.

"Someone needs to make him see it's fine to take things. To not be suck a prissy little hero all the time. And it's gonna be me." Another feral smile at the statement.

Zangetsu didn't know if he should worry or not. While in a way it could go well it was more likely to cause a disaster. There was too much going on around them to play too loose, in his opinion. No matter what he said it would not sway the other. Sitting and watching about about all he could do because Ichigo didn't have control, not fully. Maybe it would be good for them all, Ichigo needed a bit of something good, something promising to be worth some of the pain and sacrifice he was struggling with. Urahara knew pain, knew betrayal, he could feel it from the man's blade well. The match wasn't entirely unfortunate and if he could handle Ichigo's hollow that easily without looking even a touch fearful there was hope this could be very fortunate. Ichigo needed someone able to protect themselves, someone able to protect him and how long had the shopkeeper taken that role?

The rain wasn't lessening. Ichigo was still confused and unhappy. Turning his covered eyes up to the sky a sigh escaped his lips. The world was changing around them so why wouldn't the world in here? All he could do was hope it would turn out for the better.

"Someone belonging to us hmm?" Zangetsu murmured to himself, not surprised when the hollow grinned with absolute glee.

"Nice to see you're coming around old man."

Somehow even the zanpakutou couldn't help feeling just a little bit of glee himself. It would be nice to have something he could call his own.

"We're going to have to fight for it."

"Better that way. Then they can't claim we didn't work for it or some stupid shit!"

Maybe this could be fun after all, or maybe he was helping to doom them all. Either way it would at least get his mind off the rain and Zangetsu could settle for that for the time being.


	6. Denial

Denial

Urahara never had come back, not that Ichigo would admit this fact bothered him. What should he care if he had this strange feeling that there was a growing chasm between them, a feeling that he tried to push to the back of his mind. Hiyori was usually a suitable distraction and she had been been particularly ruthless recently. Pulling himself out of at least twice as many piles of rubble counted as vicious for the sandal wearing brat. Hirako even jumped in a few times when she was getting to be too much, too violent for him. Ichigo had gotten his share of looks since his former teacher had left and he had a feeling they all wanted to ask, but weren't. Hiyori seemed pissed about it the way she'd been acting. Shinji seemed annoyed. The rest of them weren't as phased by just a glance to him but he never had been great at reading people. Maybe if he was he'd know what the hell to do concerning the shopkeeper.

Damn didn't he want to stop think about him? So much for that.

Scrubbing at his face he ignored the weight of eyes on his back. Hell he was almost accustomed to it now, given how the vizard studied him while he practiced. So many calculating eyes watching everything stopped bothering him after a little time. It was different from the time he'd spent training with Urahara, that had only taken days though. Maybe that was part of why he felt so impatient here. Unlike then he couldn't see the difference. The voice still kept whispering him, haunting him. Ichigo didn't feel like he'd gotten anything done.

"Ah fuck..." Hiyori mumbled from where she was sitting waiting for Ichigo to hurry the hell up so they could get back to it.

"Looks like somethin's going on." Love said without looking up from the manga he was currently thumbing through.

Ichigo glanced off not sure what they meant until he actually pulled his head from his thoughts about one infuriatingly absent blond man. The spike of spiritual energy he felt was like a hollow. Based on the feel of them, how strong they seemed, they had to be massive. His badge started to screech to remove any doubt and he grabbed the damn thing before he was racing off ignoring the shouts from the group behind him. Hiyori would be pissed but it was his duty to look after Karakura, he was the shinigami representative after all. Sure Rukia or Renji could do it but frankly the redhead needed a little break from his tutors, he still couldn't bring himself to give them the label of teacher like he had Urahara. Teachers involved respect and trust, he didn't have that for Shinji and the others even if he was grateful for the help. It was just different.

His senses moved ahead of him and when it occurred to him he wasn't the first on the scene his stomach dropped. Chad he wasn't worried about, he was a sturdy guy and he'd watched his own back for awhile. Orihime on the other hand made him push his shunpo as much as he could because she didn't have the will to fight in her. What he found made that unsettling feeling in his gut previous burn white hot. It didn't matter that he'd never seen hollows like this before, didn't matter they felt amazingly more strong than the ones before, because he was going to destroy them for what they had done. Watching that orange shield shatter like a fine layer of glass he gripped at Zangetsu's hilt tighter.

_Hurry up there, she ain't gonna last long that one._

The voice surprised him but he knew it was right. Orihime wasn't meant for battle.

Zangetsu held the inhumanly large hand at bay, keeping it from crushing the girl behind him. Brown eyes glanced back to his friends before looking to the strange hollow again.

"Who the hell are you?" The bulky one was talking but he wasn't the one he was concerned about.

"Kurosaki-kun..." The words were pained somehow and it made Ichigo all the angrier, not at Orihime of course but mostly at himself.

"Sorry I'm late, Inoue." Somehow he still finds it strange that she apologizes, like it's her fault. "Don't apologize. Don't worry either. Everything will be fine once I take care of these two." He hears the rough edge to his voice, his anger at the situation isn't contained as well as he'd like it to be. But hell if he isn't pissed his friends are in danger, because he is quite pissed. "Ban kai!" The rush from Zangetsu washes over him and soothes some of the frayed nerves at the familiar thrum of power as it envelopes him. Still it has changed, he can feel the other one in it now so the calm it offers is short lived.

"Oi, this is the kid right?" The larger asks glancing back to his more petite companion.

"Yes he is our target. It's amazing you managed to flush him out with nothing but the noise you were causing."

"Alright! Means we don't need to waste time looking for him!" Grinning he brings down the massive fist to be stopped without much difficult by nothing but that skinny, little black sword. "Eh?"

Ichigo isn't even looking at the over-sized humanoid hollow. His entire body feels tense. He's dismissed Orihime so he isn't worried about her getting caught up in this now. The anger that's still burning low in his abdomen is threatening to spill over now and he thinks he's going to let it. Lately he's been frustrated and confused, he could use something just to beat senseless to vent. These two happen to be the lucky two.

_Go on beat 'em to a bloody pulp King. Use me to do it, it'll feel good._

Clenching his jaw he meaningfully ignores the voice. If he listens to him then he can get a hold of him better. Fighting with him will only give him power so he will deny him that.

"You're the one who did that to Chad's arm, aren't you?" The odd look he gets isn't a confession or a denial but it was a pointless question to begin with. "Then I'm going to take your arm too." Gripping onto Tensa Zangetsu he moves forward fast enough that he knows the other can't see him. The blade goes through with less resistance than he expected for something so big. Really it felt a little too easy to him, but he doesn't care about details like that. Feet on the ground again his eyes realign on his opponent, waiting and ready. Lunging again, ignoring the shock and rage, cutting without thinking letting his own angry fuel his action with instinct. There is blood and none of it is his own.

The only surprise so far is that the smaller of the pair is simply watching. In fact the only thing he notices him doing is watching. It's a relief to him though that he's not going after Inoue while he's busy.

_Had your fun, now use me!_

Again he ignores the voice despite the rising level of annoyance in it. Though he thought he heard a faint trace of humor just now.

"Still standing huh? Guess you're about as sturdy as you look."

"You look like you're having some difficulty, do you want to switch?" It's the pale one talking, well sounds more like teasing.

"Shut up!" The volume qualifies as a roar, but the guy is pretty big so it fits.

"Do you really need to use your zanpakutou against someone like him?" The pale one again, sounds smug this time. Zanpakutou? What's he talking about they're hollows...aren't they?

_Blind as ever aren't ya King? Take a look at that sword of his. Looks like one doesn't it?_

It does, he hates that to be true. Brown eyes wide he's completely lost. What would a hollow be doing with a zanpakutou? Can you take them from dead shinigami? That's the only way it could work right?

"I told you to shut up!"

_Tch, dumbass. Look closer, didn't Kisuke teach you anything?  
_

The name makes him tense but he complies all the same to look. Urahara taught him to break things down, observe. He has to be a hollow based on the hole in his chest. The mask is strange though, broken, not covering the whole of his face like he's used to seeing. They feel strange too, hollow but not and wickedly strong too.

_Strange all you gotta say about them? Ain't they a little familiar King?_

Frowning Ichigo admits it doesn't feel as foreign as it should. Their spiritual signature is familiar. When it clicks Ichigo feels like he's left his stomach behind in Soul Society.

_Looks like ya figured it out. Took you long enough. Now use me!_

The snarled demand makes him want to recoil and he shakes his head in denial_. _Ichigo refuses to use that thing in him, he's the one in control.

_Such a pain in the ass, denying everything because it suits you. Stupid pain in the ass if ya aren't going to listen to me then I'll make you!_

It's only when he's getting kicked that he realizes he's let his mind drift too much. The pain certainly is enough to knock some sense into him. The force of the blow fits the size of the one striking him, forcing him back and to regain his footing.

"Kurosaki-kun!"

"Stay back!" Only it's too late and he watches in horror as innocent Orihime is knocked aside like some insect. His entire body is tense, frozen. It's only then when he tries to move that he realizes that he actually can't.

_Told you I'd make you King. Don't do as your told you get punished. So now you get to watch._

Beatings aren't new to him. First it was his hair that got him the unwanted attention. Then it was becoming a shinigami that made him familiar with this, sharper pain. He knows what it's like to be stuck with fists, what it's like to be cut with a blade and he knows what it's like to black out from blood loss. So this, while painful, isn't the worst beating he's ever had. No this isn't too different from Hiyori kicking him around only for the real intent in it maybe. It's the panic in him that is screaming for him to move desperately that makes this so agonizing. He needs to move, to save his friends. To save himself.

_Nah-uh King, time out for you._

"Ha! You stopped moving? Well who cares, die! Die!"

Ichigo would scream if he could. His entire body would be shaking if he could budge. Instead he just lies there, watching as he raises one of those over-sized fists again entirely consumed in his fear. Fear for his friends, his family and himself because he is completely defenseless.

"It's over you little shit! I'm going to crush you into nothing but a bloody smear!"

So he waits for it, taking an agonizing breath, only it doesn't come. The too large fist doesn't touch him and something else drifts over him, something familiar and comforting. When Ichigo manages to raise his head to see a large black clad back and green something in his tightens painfully. That can't be who he thinks it is.

"So sorry about being late, Kurosaki-san." Kisuke says in an overly sing-song tone holding Benihime before him, vermilion shield before him not shattering like the orange shield of his wounded classmate under the blow. It only recedes when the man wishes it to.

"Just keep popping up..."

The teen can't care less that the giant is talking again. Urahara is here and they'll be fine because he always does these things. Comes in at the last minute and sweeps in like some retardedly dressed prince to save the frigging day. Much as he hates the cliche of it all he can't help but feel an amazing swell of relief push his fear back.

"Since you like to get in the way, I'll just crush you first!" Swinging again the giant is shocked to feel himself thrown when the man didn't even so much as budge. He's quick to recover though and more enraged than before swings at them, fist simply hitting the ground, much to his ire.

"I'll treat Inoue, give me the medicine." Yoruichi says simply, ignoring the large angry hollow.

"She's all yours." Kisuke offers the pouch without pause and goes himself to treat Ichigo as he knows he is bidden to. He trusts her to handle things and goes to the redhead laying in the grass.

Crouching down the man smiles and offers something from his hand to the teen's mouth. "Take that, it will help. Just relax Kurosaki-kun, we'll take care of this. I promise." Gray eyes look down at the boy making sure he can swallow before glancing back at the display his friend is making of dealing with the mammoth. Yoruichi is a little out of practice, he can see it in her movement but it's still a good show. He might need to tease her a bit for not being careful enough though, hierro isn't a laughing matter when using your bare hands.

"Is Inoue-"

"She'll be fine. Yoruichi will take care of her." Urahara says and in an odd gesture smooths a hand over the boy's hair. "Trust us."

Sadly he really doesn't need to ask, Ichigo already trusts them. The fact that he swallowed what given to him without question should attest to that. Brown eyes note that as the man watches Yoruichi he smiles faintly. Against his will his eyes slip down to his throat and he sees no remnant of a bite there. Somehow he is relieved and disappointed at the same time. This is the first time he's seen the shopkeeper since that afternoon.

_Bastard healed it I bet. Just have to do it again_

Before he can even think on that statement he notices Urahara rising to his feet, eyes narrowed and teeth bared in a sharp looking smirk. Then he's gone, faster than his eyes can follow. There's a rush of sound and dust after that. Ichigo doesn't know what has happened but when it clears enough he can see Urahara standing there, Benihime pointed out and hand on that ugly hat of his. Seems he isn't the only one confused though. That hollow looks lost too.

"How did you dodge my cero?"

"As you can imagine and attack like that would be quite dangerous, so I simply used a similar attack to negate it." The smug tone of voice is reassuring to him.

_He's treating them like bugs King, shows ya a bit 'bout him doesn't it? He's strong. A lot stronger than he wants anyone to see._

Ichigo has to admit this is odd to see from Urahara. The man active and involved is new to him. It's more his style to merely pull strings, not to step in.

"Say what?"

Kisuke grins faintly. "If you don't believe me, I'll just show you. Cry, Benihime." Arm moving up in a smooth, quick arc and blade moving just as cleanly through the air sending out a wave of red that looks like freshly spilled blood. It moves quickly toward the shocked and now distressed hollow.

Even the shopkeeper is surprised when the mere observer before steps in to deflect his attack. Then surprise comes again when he strikes his companion and informs them of just who the pair are, and how outmatched he is in this fight. He has intervened to call a retreat before there is a more significant loss on their part. Tearing away an opening in the air itself the pale one turns away.

Ichigo wonders why Yoruichi spoke up, thinking she's half crazy to have some that if one of them can through off an attack from Urahara.

_Don't be that quick to think it's lost King. Getting more weak aren't you or do you not want lover boy to get a smack down?_

Of course he is silent to that. He wouldn't want to see Urahara hurt but he has no idea what the hell his hollow is talking about with the "lover boy" crap.

"Our mission is complete. I must report to Aizen-sama to inform him the false shinigami he had his eyes on is nothing but trash."

Somehow when the void closes behind them Ichigo feels more ashamed than relieved. Sagging against the grass his teeth grind and hands clench, eyes shut tightly. This wasn't how he wanted things to go. He can't help feeling bitter at his hollow for stopping him like that. He could have won if he could have moved.

_You're such a dumbass. When are you going to stop being in denial? It's getting old and I'm sick of carrying your weight. So is the old man. What are you going to do when Urahara can't be bothered to save you anymore?_

Ichigo finds his eyes opening at that, fear spiking. What if Urahara wasn't around, he couldn't save him all the time. He'd be dead.

"Kurosaki-kun?" Urahara asks, slowly kneeling down again, Benihime no longer in his hand.

"Yeah?" His throat feels dry and tight.

"Stop thinking like you are, it's doing you no good."

"How?" Eyes wide he looks up at the man, surprised to see a strange soft, sad look to him.

"Because I know. Let's take you back." The blond doesn't wait for consent before lifting the redhead up with ease, rising to his feet and looking toward Yoruichi who is stubbornly bearing the weight of Sado and Orihime with her injury. It's her punishment so he says noting and merely nods for her to lead the way.

Ichigo feels like an idiot being carried like some girl. Yet somehow he can let this happen. If it were Renji though he'd deck him. Goat face wouldn't even get the privilege. Urahara he trusts not to say anything about it. Sagging some he just lets his eyes close and leaves it to the elder who is more capable. How can he manage to feel relieved when he's so weak? How can someone he hardly knows be reassuring?

Brown eyes don't open again even when a strange, soft humming in a familiar tune hits him. Ichigo doesn't know the name of it, or the words that go with the notes but there is something about it.

The stuff Urahara gave him is making him tired because before he knows it he's drifted off, only waking up when he is tucked into a bed. The teen doesn't even come around enough to hear the words spoken to him, they were nothing but soothing noise the encourage his eyes to close again. Given that he feels safe Ichigo knows where he is, he has to be at the shop. He wants to ask about Chad and Orihime but he can't seem to make a sound.

"It's alright." Urahara says in a low, tone, Repeats it again and again waiting for the teen's breathing to even out. When it does he stays a moment longer hoping he's not lying because he knows that all is not well. Things are barely beginning and it is going to be messy.


	7. Comprehension

Comprehension

Chin propped up on his hand Ichigo ignored the chatter of his classmates around him. It's petty talk about drama recently televised and the school gossip that he never paid mind to. It's all rather boring to him and even before Rukia had dropped through his window like a bomb, and just as destructive despite her innocent act. Still he couldn't be bothered to worry about some guy cheating on his girlfriend or that somebody he never heard of before was caught with some stolen goods. His classmates on the other hand were practically salivating over something happening. That was the thing wasn't it? Every single one of them wanted for something to happen. They waited expecting it to drop in their lap and entertain them. Things like that didn't happen as Ichigo had come to understand without serious repercussion; an equal reaction for every action.

For all their daydreaming and wanting the redhead was quite positive before the shit had really even hit the fan they would be begging for it all to stop. None of them would want to pay the price it took to see that kind of change they were asking for. No one ever did want to pay the consequences, not that he was any different. Ichigo accepted that he had to meet the demands that his position required and if he didn't then all he could do was everything in his power. He fucked up, badly in some cases, but he had never let it really stop him. Or he had tried to never let it stop him.

Right now he sat there banged up a bit and under orders to rest to let himself finish healing. Urahara had insisted in a very firm tone once he had come around for more than a few minutes. It was in his nature to argue but when the man had threatened him with using some of that magic shit he had resigned to doing as told. Last time he had let himself get opposite the shopkeeper he could recall it not going on. Namely with the taste of blood on his tongue courtesy of his hollow.

Frankly that had been on his mind more than he was comfortable with. His hollow was even kind enough to replay his own view of the events which had led to the teen nearly choking on his own tongue a few times. If that hadn't been enough there had been that rather fucked up dream that had come his way after he'd lost consciousness when they'd return to the shop after the run in with those two odd hollow. One that had left him soaked in cold sweat and shaking more than a little in the vaguely familiar bed, that had been only very mildly reassuring.

So much blood in the dream, soaked into cloth and in lines over pale skin, that it had helped to drain any from his face upon waking. With his hobbies, because he sure as hell wasn't getting paid, it wasn't surprising for him to have violent dreams or even recall some of his more intense fights. This had belonged in a class all its own, however, because never in any of his dreams had it felt so terrifying. Then again the image the dream had presented had also been so foreign his mind rebelled it entirely. Urahara had popped up in his mind when he did manage to rest before but usually he was his pain-in-the-ass self instead of a victim, being the victim didn't fit him at all. The blond awash in his own blood with Tensa Zangetsu's hilt sticking out of him only was image amount to haunt him still. It was almost on level with the guilt ridden feelings he carried over his mother's death, something in part he blamed on the voice whispering to him that it was possible for the man to be skewered on the end of the blade well as anyone else could.

Brows knitting together Ichigo continued to stare out the window and think. The dream had been a dream and he could dismiss it but it was some of the emotion it invoked that bothered him, plagued him. The fear had been real for how vivid the images were but it was still in the end a dream. The details while bothersome he could tune out due to his rather violent entrance into the supernatural world but the single feeling it had awakened and he had not yet managed to squash made him rather anxious. It had invoked a strange, entirely primal hunger. This hunger wasn't as simple as what he was used to feeling as a human no matter how hard he worked himself. His body didn't want food and would gnaw at itself enough to make him feel ill and frustrated. This was something he couldn't label or understand, but served to make his skin crawl for how it made his hollow almost purr. Anything that made it happy was trouble.

With a sigh he let a hand scrub over his face with a scowl. His eyes opened shortly after as the image of the blond laying prone and bleeding like in that dream flashed before his mind-eye. It was enough to send a chill down his spine and make his stomach tighten. His hollow also seemed to have rouse and was growling to him. If he could see his face he was rather sure his eyes would be changing color, that darkness was creeping up on him demanding something Ichigo cold not understand.

"Kurosaki-kun?" The voice is timid and instantly he recognizes it as Inoue.

He just grunts faintly as a sign he hears her, highly distracted at the the way his hollow is getting restless. One feeling he is beginning to recognize is the blood lust, it wants violence now.

"You don't look well maybe you should...go home to rest?" Orihime suggested it noting the odd pale pallor to her friend's usually darker toned skin. The girl starts when a pale hand drops to her shoulder and guides her away gently.

A part of Ichigo is so grateful he could almost smile at Ishida for taking her away. Instead he closes his eyes and decides it would be best to be alone right now. Even if it's not more than a single layer of plaster between he and his friends solitude is something his body is demanding. Being around anyone right now feels like tempting fate.

Their teacher protests when he heads for the door with his bag but he mutters something about not feeling well. Not like him to do this kind of thing, without it just being a farce to go and deal with a hollow, but the way she regards him proves he must look as bad as Inoue claims because there's no real argument. Instead the woman just demands he get better and make up his work.

The space makes him breath a little easier but now he's tempted to ignore Urahara's order to let himself rest. His hollow is beginning to circle like a predator ready to pounce. His feet are bringing him off to go and see Shinji to get back to where he left off with his dumbass training not that it seems to be making any difference.

Raking a hand through his hair Ichigo sets his jaw and speeds up his step. His classmates could never comprehend any of this from just an outsiders point of view, let alone grasps it from their own. They couldn't deal with how damn frustrating all of this is. A part of him is distinctly jealous of their ignorance, something he can't claim to have any longer.

Walking through the barrier and into the warehouse he comes to an abrupt stop eyes widening, and his bag nearly falling from his suddenly weak fingers. This is the last thing he ever would have expected to see in his days. Urahara is standing opposite Hiyori and holding Benihime, unblinkingly to the girl's throat as it swallows rapidly against the blade. Hiyori of all things looks scared, and pissed but he's come to understand that's her default setting, teeth bared in a very weak threat but silent. She's not arguing at all. For her to keep her mouth shut is a big deal. No one else is moving to help either but they are all watching carefully. Shinji is even sitting watching looking annoyed, eyes narrowed and frowning deeply at the scene before him.

"I thought I told you to rest, Kurosaki-san."

The words jolt him out of his frozen posture and still wide eyes regard the man who is only glancing over his shoulder to him, eyes dark and oddly stoic. There's only a faint downward tilt to the man's lips which strikes him as only a further sign of something being wrong.

The redhead doesn't move or even breath since the shopkeeper still hasn't moved Benihime away from Hiyori's throat. It takes a few swallows for him to speak even.

"The fuck is going on?"

Suddenly Ichigo is beginning to think he doesn't manage to grasp any of this for himself either. But one thing has become clear with the way his eyes are drawn to Urahara and the positive purr from his hollow of a single word that makes him pale all over again.

_Prey._

* * *

**AN:** This took much longer to write than I had planned. This is version eight of it, and they were all radically different, but this one seems to fit well enough into what I am looking for out of this. Not that anyone could even call this planned out. I hope this doesn't make this story lose any of its appeal. Hopefully the next chapter will not take so long and be so disappointingly short as this one. I wanted to leave this here because it didn't seem to fit to continue it.

I would like to thank everyone for their reviews so far and hope that this continues to be entertaining.


	8. Alienation

Alienation

_Prey._

Brown eyes widened drastically, irises already beginning to brighten to gold. Lines of uneven black slowly beginning to overtake the white of the sclera. Ichigo could feel his hold slipping through his fingers, hear the low laughter that was from within himself. Yet the teen clenched his hands into fists, palms aching where his blunt nails dug in in a vain effort to keep a hold of himself. Even resisting he couldn't keep his attention divided, his hollow had it all now so he would have to worry about the rest of them later. He trusted Urahara to be alright, to look after the both of them. Ichigo just trusted Urahara.

His senses were overwhelmed. His hearing was too acute, so acute that he could hear the breath and heartbeat about him from more than a single body against the own thundering sounds of his accelerating pulse. Eyes clamped shut at first in some effort to cut off some of the sensory input that had his head aching horribly. His vision had been coming in flashes. Glances of Urahara, accusing looks from the vizard and the flash of horrible black nothing that indicated his hollow was forcing himself into the seat of power.

Ichigo felt his stomach roll and brought a hand up to his head, fingers tugging at his hair slightly. Part of him reasoned he ought to warn them but his throat felt too tight to speak and he was almost certain if he opened his mouth he'd be ill.

No one moved for a long moment.

"See ya shouldn't be 'round him ya fuckin' retard!" Hiyori screeched at her former captain, eyes narrowed. The look was even faintly accusing.

Kisuke lowered Benihime and started to turn from the girl as if he hadn't heard her speak, attention settling on the redhead who was caught up in his own struggle for control. It was a pathetic sight to see someone that proud reduced to what anyone who knew no better to assume insane mutterings. Ichigo likely wasn't even aware that he was speaking aloud. It brought a faint pitying smile to his lips.

The shopkeeper was brought back around a small hand crushing a handful of the green he wore. Hiyori was angry and had no qualms to show it either.

"Get the fuck out!"

In a flash Hiyori found a tan hand held back, just barely, from her face. Startled the girl leant back and followed the hand up to the owner with surprised eyes. Ichigo had moved from where he'd been, a good few feet away at the enterance and was now nearly flush against Kisuke's back hand prepared to strike her. It was only by firm grip of a pale hand that had kept the girl from being struck, and was still holding the boy at bay. While she had been busy keeping her mind and temper on Urahara it seemed Ichigo had lost the battle to his hollow. The kid's eyes were entirely changed and the smirk on his face did not fit the boy she knew.

Tightening his grip a fraction Kisuke sighed a bit. "Let go of me Hiyori."

Briefly she thought of hitting him instead. The decision was made for her. Shinji had thought it best to intervene and pried the small girl off, arm firmly around her to keep her from going anywhere.

"Leggo a me! I'm gonna pound his stupid fuckin' face in!" The former fifth captain snorted faintly and kept a hold of her, with years of practice it wasn't hard.

The low snarl that reached them cause the girl to fall still and silent. Ichigo was trying to pull himself free to go after her, Kisuke the only thing holding him back.

"That is enough, Hollow-san."

It was a mild surprise when Ichigo's body seemed to relax, head turning to regard the blond. Sharp smirk still in place he shifted closer to the man, almost like an obedient pet.

Hiyori felt a little sick to see it listen to him. Even Shinji looked surprised. None of them had ever seen a hollow obey before, to show some sort of human understanding which made them wonder just what was going on. Their own hollows wouldn't comply unless beaten down into submission fully, in every sense there was, yet here one showed obedience to an outside force.

Love shifted uncomfortably, frowning to himself.

Rose closed his eyes and sighed softly. "I think it would be best to leave them be."

"Are ya nuts? He's gonna kill Kisuke!" Hiyori protested as loud as she could.

"I ain't gonna kill 'im." Every head turned to the possessed body, frozen in shock save for Urahara. The hollow chuckled and looked them over. "Don't expect you to get it, so don't even try."

Shinji tightened his hold on the brat in his hold for good reason, her flailing was getting worse now that she was being provoked.

"I'd listen to your friends girly. You come near me and I'm gonna crush your skull with my bare hands."

Snarling back the blonde girl stilled but leant forward as much as Shinji's hold permitted her to and bore her teeth.

Just giving a snort the hollow looked around to the only person in the room of interest to him, Kisuke, before speaking again.

"I won't do it until you cry first. I don't like when people threaten what's mine."

The lack of protest from Urahara was what surprised them most, even as he started to lead the hollow along toward the stairs that led to their training grounds. The shopkeeper didn't even glance back at them but the hollow did looking pleased.

When the pair disappeared from sight Shinji shook his head and released Hiyori. Surprisingly the girl didn't budge from where she stood. Urahara hadn't even bothered to scold the bastard when he threatened her, to kill her. Small hands clenching into fists she growled to herself.

"Don't take it personally Hiyori."

Turning to look at Shinji she just looked away soon after.

"Ichigo's different from us."

"The fuck d'ya mean? He's the same as us!"

"Nah he ain't. Ichigo wasn't fucked over the same way we were. Aizen ain't to blame for what happened to him." Pausing he looked to see if the girl was even paying him any attention while he was explaining to her. She was and looking a bit lost to just what he was referring to. "Kisuke did that to the kid, he feels responsible."

Much as she hated it, it sounded about right. "Idiot."

"Yeah, he is."


	9. Provocation

Provocation

Somewhere between leaving the company of the older vizard and arriving out of sight to the training grounds his grip had tightened around Ichigo's arm to the point of bruising. While the hollow had not complained did not mean he was pleased to see himself letting his state get the better of him in such small ways. It was a sign he was certainly bothered by what Ichigo had stumbled upon for it to snowball to this point. The added trouble was not something he had needed but it seemed his former student had not gotten over his knack for trouble yet, so he had walked in on what could have escalated into a fight.

Hiyori had not likely meant to bother him and truthfully the merchant knew that it should not have phased him as much as it did. Perhaps it was better for him to think that it would not have swayed his older self to be seated with such accusations. His older self would have merely laughed at something so simple and made a light denial to the claim, uncaring if was believed or not. While he had tried to play it off in a similar fashion it had not been believed and only pressed further upon him. Then his reaction had turned closer to openly violent than he normally permitted himself to unless among company clearly defined as enemy. The reaction had been strong enough to catch everyone as uncharacteristic. It should not have led him to violence and now he sorely regretted his choice, or lack of usual ability to conceal how phased he was.

What had bothered him most about the whole scenario was that it seemed to be rather true. The proof was beside him in the black and gold stained eyes. Kisuke hadn't wanted to think that his former subordinate could be right in claiming he was detrimental for Ichigo but perhaps it was worth considering that he was. He seemed to draw the hollow out and the teenager's control was still tentative as best in light of his recent training. Shinji agreed that Ichigo was turning out to be a pain to teach how to be consistent. Signs were there in one episode of confrontation then again when the boy himself had not taken care of a hollow, though stronger than the usual appearances in Karakura, that should have been within his range of abilities. Truth was supposed to be a difficult pill to swallow but he'd done plenty of that which made him rather unaccustomed to being bothered by it. After his exile those pills had become fairly routine.

"Aren't you tense."

Really that is an understatement in his opinion. The adrenaline in his system is not helping to matters either. His body is still primed for a fight with the vicious pint-sized blonde girl that had not come due to the appearance of the subject of their conversation. Kisuke was sure that had Ichigo been in control of himself even he would be able to pick up on the tension so it was no surprise that his hollow had.

"Whatever do you mean Hollow-san?" An attempt at levity in his tone that was half-cocked even in his own humble opinion.

"Sure you don't want me to crush that thick little head of hers? I could do it."

"No need for that but thank you for the concern." Not that he truly meant it. Someone offering to kill for him wasn't something that gave Kisuke a warm and fuzzy feeling. Had he perhaps been talking about someone else, like Aizen or a few choice persons of nobility it could have been different.

"Or you could do it." That was almost playful though closer to something like enticing.

Shaking his head Kisuke ignore the other trying to sway him to violence. Annoyed as he may be with both himself and Hiyori he wouldn't wish her harm. Though he had drawn Benihime earlier he hadn't any plan to use it, she had antagonized him and he had only done it in show that he would not be

"You should. Runt like that disrespecting you should be put in her place. It would be easy I bet. She's tiny. She ain't so tough either. King goes half-assed at her but you wouldn't. You'd go at her and win."

Much as he hates it it does appeal to a part of him. Not that he thought of himself as particularly malicious he knew he could be, some of the things he had thought over the past century had more than proved that. Holding a grudge did that to you but in that time he had also absolved others of blame though not all. Not only those that had deflected still had his contempt. The ones who could have done something he still had some hard feelings over even if it was only wasted energy. If anyone could spot his bloodlust it would be a hollow.

"That's enough Hollow-san."

"Strike a nerve there, _Kisuke_?" A taunting tone again.

The stress to his given name made the blond want to deny it but he had. The frayed feeling to his nerves was not lessening and his control was not coming back to him as much as he needed it to.

"Not the only one am I, _Kisuke_?"

Urahara didn't even need to look at the other to know he was pleased, the warped voice was more than enough to give that away. The best thing he could do was pretend to be unfazed by the other which was what he planned to do.

"I'm not sure I follow Hollow-san." He had not been thinking then to have actually looked away of the other while he no longer had a hold on him. It meant he had been very foolish in retrospect but it was not the first time someone would have been able to gain over his momentary lapse of judgment.

It seemed that Ichigo's hollow was not fond of being ignored.

"Pretty simple. If you can't follow maybe we ought to have to put down." Offering a snort of obvious disbelief to the act the exile was displaying he only rolled his eyes.

"How cruel of you." The verbal spar wasn't quite over yet.

Being ignored and not playing his game was not amusing to his young company which he could do little to nothing about since the elder had no intention of playing coddling mother to him.

Whether he wanted to play or not the hollow had plans to make the other go along with him. Since the man had ignored him and played him off he really brought the coming treatment upon himself. Truthfully he was slightly disappointed, but he was also looking forward to playing this particular card not that he had suspected it would be needed so soon to draw the shopkeeper into their conversation further.

"Despite what he says he blames you you know."

Stated so dryly it could more closely be compared to someone stating a mundane fact like that the grass was green or the sky blue, but Urahara felt himself tense to hear it. Gray eyes not returning to the sight of the familiar face of Ichigo he had to clench his jaw to avoid asking or responding. Kisuke truthfully wondered if it was simply bait or if the teen really did blame him, even if only when alone.

"Because he knows if he hadn't handed himself over to you he wouldn't have me to worry about."

Teeth clenched together so hard he felt his jaw and molars ache from the stress he put upon them he willed himself not to listen. The hollow was trying to provoke him, that was all. But there was this itching little worry that there was something to it. It was true. Had the redhead never come to his door and asked for help, a way to rescue Rukia Kuchiki, then he very well would not be in the current predicament he was in.

"He doesn't trust you either."

Many people didn't trust Kisuke as far as they could throw him, which if they were being honest wasn't an inch in most cases, so he could fault no one to doubting him. Sincerity was not something he displayed and the farce of a grinning fool was what he showed the world.

"Want to know something else?"

Lord knew he didn't but his jaw was clenched too tightly and he dared not to open his mouth for fear of what he may say. What would give him away was to express the way this touched on him. He wanted to be ignorant, he wanted to believe that when the boy had said he forgave him he had meant it. But why wouldn't he just lie? He had needed help and Urahara was the only one who could have pointed him in the right direction to Hirako and company. Even if he hadn't become involved it was rather unlike Shinji would have bothered, the vizard were a close and solitary lot that trusted no one but the ones they knew.

"When you're around it's easier to get into the King's head. So easy to drag him down and toss him into that retarded inner world of his and take this body. Going to stick him back in there for good soo-"

It had not been planned by any means. Before the blond knew it his arm swung and struck the teenager. In a gigai the force wouldn't be enough to seriously hurt him, not compared to what Ichigo was used to at least, but it was enough to send the beast playing marionette stumbling back a step or two before dropping back onto his rear.

His hand felt foreign to him and looking at it with slightly wide gray eyes he wondered how he could have done that. In his eyes Ichigo was a child and never had he struck a child before, ever. He'd learned to control his temper and had patience in spades compared to the average man. How many men could sit and bide their time, not that he'd had much choice in the matter, and plot for a century? Yet he had hit someone he meant no harm to simply because he was hearing possible truths that he was not trusted. Trust was not something he was used to possessing so it should have been no matter to him if he had not possessed it from someone as guarded as younger man.

Rising to his feet Ichigo's body is laughing in a way he would almost call manic. It is surreal and feels more like a bad dream than reality. After all most wouldn't laugh after being knocked off their feet.

"Do it again! Hit me!" A positively gleeful shout. Gold eyes wide in excitement and a wide grin that if held too long would no doubt make cheeks unused to such a gesture ache.

"No." Though the man means it entirely, his tone is not certain. He's done it once and once something has happened for history to repeat is all too easy. The wisest thing to do is take his space and he attempts just that.

Five steps is as far as the blond manages to get himself, counting almost as if the the rising increment may soothe some part of his nerves. With so little progress it soothed nothing and feeling as distracted as he was by his previous behavior Kisuke does not see that he is giving up ground in this fight. Ground he cannot afford to lose.

"Don't be such a woman about it and hit me. Did it once already and you hit like a bitch." He's having far too much fun watching the normally composed and condescending exile fall down bit by bit. Tipping him over and watching him shatter is what he wants and he's hardly given up on achieving that goal.

"No." Firmer this time and the elder has stopped giving his retreat for the moment to regard the hollow firmly.

Game having continued long enough the blond turns to go entirely to leave the creature to solitude to give Kurosaki a chance to regain himself. So frazzled Kisuke just starts to look back when something clamps down hard on his arm. The hollow has a grip in his arm that is probably like his former hold on the other when he first directed them down here. Taking in the other he notes a scowl too like the original owner of that body that the opposing fist across his jaw blindsides him.

"If you can't do it I will!" And the assault continues. Grip on the man's arm holding him to not recoil too far from his strikes that are not restricted to his face. A few open handed strikes to the torso here, a knee to the gut there, all just designed to inflict pain.

Kisuke has been beaten before, much more severely than this. Having been in the second division and having known Yoruichi for far too longer he knows very well what it's like to have someone hit you hard enough to go beyond just seeing stars and skip straight to a blackout. He doesn't even taste blood yet which is a sign that his gigai is made to endure the wrath of a human at least at this level. Yet a body made to be human, at least in most senses, can only be so durable in the image of something surprising as fragile as it can be enduring.

A kick to the chest sends him sprawling onto his back. He hasn't raised a hand to strike back, after earlier somehow he cannot drag up the will to be cruel to that body if nothing else. It hurts but he can bear it fine. Benihime as skidded away from his hold and is resting somewhere over to his right side. Where she has gone to his less important to his mind that the foot colliding with his skull enough it jars his head. He sees spots and can hear his bodies demands to protect itself but only closes them almost wearily at the impending rest of whatever this has transformed into. Hasn't he had enough pain already?

Another kick and he can see the darkness creeping up around the corners of his vision. Even he can only take so much abuse, without defense and in a flimsy physical body. His consciousness is finally fading. The hollow is shouting things he is not longer listening to, somehow it really does not seem like it would make any difference at this point.

All Kisuke can think as the artificial space around him begins to blend is that this is his fault so he must have had it coming in some way. He put the hollow there with his methods. He let himself provoked. He is letting himself be beaten.

He is only reaping what he himself has sown.

* * *

**AN:** This took longer than I wanted it to but like with some of the previous chapters there have been so many versions of what was next it was not even funny. It would have been longer had I kept what follows it didn't fit quite the way I wanted it to so it was separated into two parts. I already have a more definite idea for the next chapter hopefully it will be written all the sooner for anyone still reading this.

I would like to thank everyone reading this still for being so patient and for their feedback. I appreciate it more than it probably seems.


	10. Reconstitution

Reconstitution

There was only darkness and he was thankful for it. Even he needs a break from time to time, even if at the most inopportune of times like this. What he needs more than anything is to collect himself, something that is more difficult to accomplish he has noticed when it concerns his young, unofficial charge. So this absence of stimuli is appreciated, particularly away from that hollow he had put him there. If only this could only manage to last for a while.

But it never did.

From the recesses of his consciousness he can hear an all too familiar voice. It's not Ichigo's hollow still managing to penetrate the dark haze of his unconsciousness; no it's something closer to home instead. It's a voice he hears off and on, a voice that is as hair raising as it is soothing to him. Not so fortunately for him that voice is not happy, in fact she sounds downright furious.

"_When did you become so pathetically weak?_" The seething bit of verbiage but to his ears is scarcely more than a whisper in volume. It poses a curious question. When did he get so weak?

Perhaps when Sousuke had managed to best him years ago now. Or better yet when he got himself banished and barely escaped with his powers with only the assistance of Yoruichi. Those were terrible signs of weakness. Still hadn't he held back, kept himself sane all this time waiting and wanting for nothing more than to see someone pay? Though these days he felt more tired than vengeful. What was the point of vengeance after all? Couldn't Sousuke just show Soul Society how foolish they were after all? Who knew it could be an improvement in the long run for things to finally change in that horribly backwards and unchanging realm.

"_Since when do you encourage your enemies goals? He betrayed you as well. He had you accused falsely. Had you banished._"

Hearing that makes a part of Urahara ache. His home was a place he could never return to now even if his status as traitor was redeemed. No one would ever look at him the same again, he would never be welcomed again. None of them would. Though they may never care to admit it something about it was upsetting even now, even after having time to try and wash the taste of that reality from their mouths. The living world was their new home, like it or not. Not that this place was all bad, it could be tolerable or even pleasant at times. But there would always be things missing.

So why should he let Sousuke just go ahead and push the shinigami aside? He shouldn't. Even the part of him that wanted to see them pay for their abandonment of the few who could help them, said it was not right. Despite what people thought he did happen to have a conscience. It just happened to be rather selective.

Aizen should be stopped. Hirako and the others would want that. They deserved that for what he had done to them. Soul Society needed to change and that could still happen. There was hope.

"_You want revenge too. You want to be there._"

And he did. The bitter part of him wanted to see Sousuke crash into the water and drown in the sea for his hubris, for thinking he could become a god. He wanted to just be angry without having to be logical as well but there was never much time for that for him. Moments where he could humor himself in such childish ways were few and far between when he had this and that to take care of.

"_You want blood. We want blood_."

Yes, he did. For their pain and suffering he wanted some of theirs. Not all of it, but enough to compensate for the fate that had befallen them. That had put them all into lives that involved making the best of what they had in a way so many were ignorant. He wanted the truth too. Not for him, he knew the story too well, but for everyone else. It had been a long time since he had thought about that detail and it brought a kind of heat to his own blood.

He still had things to do. Many things to do.

"_Then move. Move or die!_" The whisper of her voice became a shout then. Not about to invoke her anger further, Kisuke obeyed and moved.

The weightless feeling was the first thing to leave him and shortly after that the darkness was gone as well. Groggily his body obeyed the command issued to him, that shout was resounding in his skull.

Eyes open again and ignoring the various aches all over his body the blond pushed himself to roll to the side and none too soon either. A thin blade was buried in the dirt where he had been laying. Assessing the situation the man let his eyes travel up over the blade to see the curled hilt which was really the top of a cane. Before he could entirely process what it meant he was forced to flatten himself out over the ground again to avoid being beheaded at worst and at least having an artery severed.

It was all coming back to him quickly enough, but recollecting and keeping alive at once is a wearisome process for someone just having regained consciousness from being beaten unconscious.

"So you are still alive." A flat statement, no indication if either was better or worse from the other.

Urahara turned his attention up to the lanky teenage body regarding him without the same disinterest and felt some of his earlier apprehension. There was a nice bruise on Ichigo's face from what he had done earlier. He had done that, himself and he could not undo it.

"For now. Too bad you were so disappointing in the end." The hollow glancing to the blade in his hand briefly and raised it planning to effectively kill the man for good. That the man was making such a pathetic face only made it easier for him really.

The blond was picking himself up to his feet and was just as shocked as the hollow seemed to be when the blade stopped the essentially rest against his throat instead of cut through it. He could feel the sharp edge wavering in the arm wielding it. It was hesitation or it appeared to be at first glance. The borrowed arm was shaking not in fear or anxiety but in resistance.

"Tch, doing him a favor there _horse_." Though there was a definite note of annoyance in the address.

Kisuke decided not to put Ichigo's effort to waste and reached for the thoughtlessly discarded lower half of his cane. It had just been dropped carelessly and rested not far away, close enough he could get it with the tips of his fingers by leaning over.

It was all about who was faster now and the younger body has distinct advantages at the moment.

The hollow was drawing back to swing again with more force, determined. Those gold eyes blazing while looking down at him finally to see the exile not just sitting there in his own head, feeling sorry for himself.

The boy is quick, but for now Kisuke is still faster.

In haste, certainly not gently, the end of the cane hit the redhead in the stomach effectively doing what he wanted in the scenario, forcing the soul from the body. Though there is also the added bonus to his actions that it only leaves Kisuke with a scratch from the attack instead of something likely more fatal. The force jolts the soul and body back away from him giving him enough room get to his feet, snatching Benihime from the crumpled, empty form.

Still fighting against the clock Kisuke ejects himself from his gigai as well because someone of this boy's caliber he cannot handle in it any longer. It will get one of them hurt so he just lets it fall like dead weight and manages to raise his zanapkutou to hold the larger Zangetsu at bay. The manic grin between the clash is more concerning to him, however.

"That's more like it. Took you long enough." The tone on his survival is no longer flat and Kisuke can't help but think that's not such a good thing.

"It's too soon for me to be leaving, I still have things I need to do Hollow-san." Somehow he manages to say it in an amiable tone but the next moment he's half-growling out Benihime's shikai, feeling her change shape in his hand and smoothing some of his still frayed nerves. Still what he needs most at the moment is distance. Relenting some of his ground he draws his blade back a bit to let out a wave of red, sharp note piercing the air. It does what he wants, the other is forced back several paces. Wanting to keep the ground he has gained, Kisuke goes for the throat around the side.

The hollow doesn't seem to be planning to play so nicely any longer because before he can get too close dark reiatsu is on the rise and erupts as the other forces himself to bankai. A bone mask is forming over the familiar tanned face and hiding that sharp grin directed at him. Kisuke pays more mind to the unchanged black and gold eyes watching him.

Tensa Zangetsu is stronger, more sleek but it's not going to be enough to get through his princess. Benihime meets the dark blade strike for strike and holds it at bay. They are both moving steadily more quickly now. That is when Kisuke notices that he really is going to be forced to be cautious to balance his force with method. Ichigo's powers, even in his hollow's possession, are unpolished so that is in his favor but not at the same time. The boy cannot win but it will not make things easy for his teacher.

As if to prove the thought shortly after the hollow is behind him in a quick burst of shunpo and trying to cut him in two down the middle. Kisuke alters his footing to lower himself and kicks at the younger man's legs. It makes enough contact to knock his aggressor back and huff in pain. Wanting to try and end this quickly before it turns into a blood bath between Ichigo's hollow and Benihime he tries to get off a higher level bakudou. Unfortunately with a strong bakudou it is best to recite the incantation but he doesn't have that kind of time as the thin, black blade rushing toward his chest proves before he's even a third of the way into the spell. With so little distance between them he won't have the time to finish it, particularly before he would end up skewered. So he has to change his course of action to just keep himself alive. Reaching with a pale hand he grabs the black katana and forces its course to rise. It cuts into his hand but he just tightens his grip and pushes it up. Instead of the blade driving through his chest it only nicks his shoulder.

"Looks like you're wearing down old man." Gold eyes widen in a sense of delight, focused on the blood running down of a thin but strong wrist.

There is no denying that. Kisuke is fairly sure he's got a broken rib even in his shinigami body, on top of a serious concussion. He hasn't had time to heal himself so it's just something he has to deal with. As a consequence though it is costing him speed and very likely the ability to think clearly on a better solution.

"I am." It's an admission. One that seems to come as a surprise to the hollow based on the way he is being looked at. "But I'm not done yet."

Most would probably call him insane but he stabs Benihime down into the dirt through the dark hakama the other has on before releasing her. With the few options he has to end this peacefully he is going for a desperate effort here. On the bright side it seems like his opponent did not see this coming.

"What...the hell?"

Kisuke doesn't bother to explain, looking down at the shorter, possessed man, he just starts to let his reiatsu pour out. It's thick and heavy and this is something he has not done in years. Normally he's under strict restraint after years of hiding himself ti squash it down and this certainly breaks those rules. It feels good to let go, even in the rather fucked up scenario he's managed to land himself into. The air around him is practically vibrating now and a thinned but bright hue of red energy is expanding out from him. The beast is looking up at him something shocked and possibly just a little fearful.

His eyes shift to the blade still cutting into his hand, though he doesn't really feel it any longer. From that hand he lets more of his reiatsu flow until he can feel the form of the dark zanpakutou give way. The hum and sharp sound from Benihime deafens out the soft sound of cracking. It doesn't take too long before the katana shatters and his hand is left empty.

"You retard I can just-"

But before the hollow can speak further Kisuke's bloodied hand is reaching up with a new target and tearing at that bone mask. It needs to go to help pull Ichigo, the real Ichigo, back. It seems he has gained the upper hand because the white shatters more quickly than Zangetsu had.

Still black and gold eyes stare up at him as the white fragments drop and break further apart, but the black in those eyes is starting to recede already. The hollow says nothing just stares mutely, eyes wide. It's not a detail that Kisuke minds, he prefers it quiet. It doesn't speak again to him as it is forced back into servitude.

Brown eyes are looking up at him soon enough and Kisuke feels the buzz of his earlier high fading. The aches are coming back and one of his sides is really smarting. The look of surprise hasn't faded away from that face and the exile tries to open his mouth to ask what is the matter. His mouth doesn't want to work with him and barely opens as the world starts to teeter from side to side.

The blond is swaying on his feet, the sounds of shouting that come to his exhausted body and mind sound distant.

He cannot see Ichigo trying to pull him up and steady him. He cannot see Hirako and the others running their way. He cannot even feel the blood flowing from his hand. Though he can feel his pulse in a steady, painful way it is calming in an odd manner. The world is fading to black again but this time he doesn't feel panic gripping at him. Instead Urahara just feels damn exhausted. That last thing he sees before it all fades away on him once more is a blur of bright orange that makes him want to apologize, only he cannot seem to speak. All he can do is let himself rest.

* * *

**AN:** And this took forever to write. Considering how short these chapters are that's a bit sad, but what can you do? I apologize for any mistakes because this chapter has not been beta'd. Which is no fault of Hiruma Musouka by any means. I just want to finish this story so I am going to try and power through the rest of it. Really this evolved into something insane considering I only meant for it to be a one-shot or a two-shot. Instead of just leaving it though I want to bring it to some kind of conclusion instead of leaving those who have given me feedback something for their time.


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